Monday, July 26, 2010

Huntington Beach!



Moving day is soon around the corner! With mom divorcing keith, and with Megan's suggestion to move out early, I am almost on my way! Keith is looking for a car for me, this week! Once I have a car, I'm loading up my stuff and heading out. My mom is going to stick around here, until the registration papers come in, and then she'll join me in huntington beach. I can't wait for Keith and Caroline to be out of our lives forever!
It's going to be great. We'll be near the beach, I'll have a part-time job, I'll be going to school, I'll be close to Megan's office, and I'll spend alot of time with Kasey... Just like Eric wanted.... And eventually, My mom and I will move out and get our own place! Shortly after, I might try moving out of my moms place! (Its just an idea =] ).
My mom's boss is selling a truck for 5k. Its a few yeas old, and has about 75,000 miles on it. My mom is going to go for it, and hopefully we'll get it. Another woman is looking to buy it, but she doesn't know how to drive stick, so its looking like the odds are in our favor!
Every time Caroline or keith does/says something my mom doesn't like, she quietly whispers to me... "That's okay! Soon, the princess is going to find herself without a bed and without a washer or dryer!"
Its so strange to see my mom acting this way... She's usually been the People-Pleaser, or the quiet one who holds everything in..... Now, she is planning her revenge. Her escape. Her future, without Keith.
I'm going to miss having my own room, and my own bed. I'm going to miss being able to hang stuff on the walls (like, my collages, and bulletin boards...), it's going to be loud, annoying, and distracting, when Kasey is home (which is almost always)... especially when I am trying to do homework. It isn't going to be easy. Its a small condo, especially with 4 of us adults, plus Kasey. This move is going to test my patience, and my ability to keep sane. But, this move is also 100% worth it.
We'll no longer have to bear sight of Caroline's tiny little waist, or her ass hanging out of her thong, as she walks to the bathroom. No more alcohol drama, or possible DUI's. There won't be that silent tension filling up the house. He wont make mom pay for Mother's day dinner, or charge purchases to her account. My mom will finally be happy. This is what she has secretly wanted, and its what Eric openly begged for.
I can't believe its finally happening. While I am so excited, and I can't wait to move out, I'm also afraid to leave my mom here for the couple of weeks. What if he sweet talks her back into his arms? What if she gets too scared to say, "I'm leaving".... Worst of all, what if none of these things happen, and my mom is left all alone? Nobody to talk to, nobody to have dinner with....
I know I'm going to kill myself with all the What-Ifs.... But, I'm scared. I'm scared for me, and I'm scared for my mom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eric, my dear guardian angel,
look after mom when I'm gone. Make sure she eats when her body needs it, and doesn't work too much... Look out for her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another con of leaving is, I'll be far away from Momma Micaela and the kids. I understand that I'm not moving to china. It isn't THAT far away... But, its far enough that I can't go for an hour and come back. Its far enough that gas is going to kill me, if I come out to this area too often.
I love those kids sooo much.... At the very least, I'll have to come down once a month to see them. Maybe stay the weekend, or a night at least. Not to mention... Micaela gives the best mom-hugs, ever. They make me feel loved, and protected! I can't go too long without one.
I suppose I'll see where this transition takes me-- I could regret it, OR, it could be the best thing thats happened to me!

1 comment:

Micaela said...

Hey! I love you! It'll work itself out. I'll miss you bunches but will always be here for you. And if you can make it down, my door is always open. :)