Unacceptable?

I feel rather empty. There is nothing concrete, and nothing that keeps my attention, or makes me feel whole. As a Christian, these are words that are never to be spoken. God is supposed to fill every nook and cranny. I don't know where God is, but He is not in me. Where is the line drawn to separate hiding these things, and being fake...

I am ashamed to admit that I've had Heaven and Hell on a Pros&Cons scale. I think to myself, Hell can't really be that bad, can it?

There are so many people offering their love, support, time, home, and other such things. There isn't anyone, or anything, that satisfies. I'm almost looking for a hug that will last forever.

Instead of asking for something (not that I know what I should be asking for), I get grouchy, or super hyper, or annoying. As I'm acting this way, I think to myself, "What am I DOING? STOP!" But I just keep on going, as if I can't hear my own thoughts. I hate myself. I hate the things I do. I know I'm looking for acknowledgement, even if its someone telling me to shut-up.