Mothers Day

Mothers Day is only 5 days away! It makes me really anxious.. I've been pretending as if Mothers Day doesn't pertain to me, or that it will -hopefully- never come. But, in reality, I know I cannot stop it.

I am definitely celebrating Micaela, as she is a strong "mom" figure in my life. And, with that, I am excited. Granted, I don't have much for her, but what Mother's Day gift isn't handmade, and a little corny?

Mothers Day with my actual Mom, on the other hand.... I want to pull out my hair and scream!

Regardless of what I do for her, its going to be a mess. Her focus is going to be on not having Eric, as it's been so far, this week. Whether I buy her flowers, or make her something... or write her a card.... Its bound to be an awful day!

Do I say happy Mothers Day? Do I make a big deal about it?... Should I just leave a card and flowers on the kitchen table, for her to find? I feel like if Im all, "Yay!! Happpppppy Mothers day, Mom!!," then I'm going to make her sad. And if I downplay it, like its no big deal, she's going to be hurt. Or mad.

Also, she's spending the whole day at the cemetery, with Eric. Am I supposed to go with her? I want to spend time with her, but not if it means being at the cemetery. I've already been there once, this week.... Trust me, thats plenty. But, does that make me selfish, if I refuse to go to the cemetery? Does she even want me there, or does she want to be alone?

Eric, what would you do, if you were in my situation?